Elements of a Traditional Hawaiian Wedding Ceremony
Michaela Larson performs wedding ceremonies that incorporate traditional Hawaiian elements
This post was written in collaboration with Danni Akaka, a native Hawaiian and expert in Hawaiian history.
Embracing “aloha” culture is often a priority for couples planning a wedding on the beaches of Hawaii. The abundant traditions of the islands include many ceremonial rituals meant to symbolize the bonding of two lives. Certain rituals have been maintained throughout the years and are now used in tandem with mainland traditions to create ceremonies unique to the couple. Learning about these practices and their meanings help maintain the spirit behind the rituals and can help make your beach wedding truly one-of-a-kind.
As you start to research these traditional Hawaiian wedding rituals, it’s good to remember the adage that not all learning comes from one hoao. “Hoao,” which comes from ancient royal wedding traditions and can represent the transition of marriage as a symbolic night-to-day, also refers to schools of thought. To say that not all learning comes from one hoao means that it’s important to be open to different ideas and different ways of approaching things. Different officiants, or kahunas, will follow different practices; familiarizing yourself with the symbology and details of these rituals will help you choose the right traditional elements for your ceremony.
Hawaiian Wedding Traditions Before the Ceremony
A popular pre-wedding ceremony for mainlanders is known as the kai ho’oma’ema’e. This purification ceremony prepares the couple for their lives together by washing away negativity and any other worries before the wedding. The couple places their hands in a bowl of salt water together and wash away the obstacles in their journey together as spouses. It serves as a reminder that, much like one might imagine a sea voyage, a marriage will have highs and lows which can be weathered by affirming the trust and love between those embarking on the journey.
Chanting is also a traditional element that is good to consider well before the ceremony. Some kahunas will draw from traditional chants based on the occasion, the location, or who the chant is for. Others will compose chants on the spot to mark the celebration or prepare a personal chant for the couple prior to the occasion. These chants are often kept confidential, as they’re only intended for special occasions and are meant to be experienced during the ceremony itself. Discussing traditional chants with your officiant is important, as an important factor is the kahuna’s intent and comfort with the chant so that they can highlight the unique circumstances of your ceremony.
Hawaiian Wedding Traditions for the Ceremony
A staple of many Hawaiian weddings that remains unique to the island is the giving of a lei. In traditional Hawaiian ceremonies, there were no wedding rings to symbolize the joining of two people into one. Giving a lei to someone served as a tangible expression of your aloha for that person. Leis come in many forms and hold particular significance based on the materials and island, so be sure to research the significance of your flower arrangement. The giving of a lei, followed by tying the ends together, mirrors the idea of “tying the knot” with less restriction than the traditional wedding band. A lei also serves as a keepsake to represent your spiritual connection, which can be kept in a safe space or place of honor once you return home.
Kahu Tom blows a conch shell, which is a common way to begin a wedding ceremony in many Hawaiian traditions.
Similarly, it’s common to have a ceremony started by the blowing of a conch shell, or Pu. This act symbolizes the announcement of an important event and is blown in the four cardinal directions as a sign of respect and to bring silence before the ceremony begins. Some kahunas also choose to blow the Pu at the end of the ceremony to announce that it is pau, or complete.
Music is also an important way to incorporate the traditions of the island into your ceremony. A song played on the ‘ohe hano ihu, a nose flute known as an instrument of love, is a beautiful accompaniment to a wedding ceremony. Having a ukulele accompany your event is also a popular choice, along with a hula ‘auana. The most recognizable choice is “Ke Kali Nei Au,” also known as “The Hawaiian Wedding Song,” though there are many choices to suit your ceremony’s tone and needs.
Other Hawaiian Wedding Traditions – And Some Advice
As with mainland weddings, a beach wedding is meant to celebrate the joining of two lives into one. If you wish to forego the mainland approach of vows and readings, there are many traditional practices that may suit you.
A kapa ceremony, for instance, celebrates the unification of two people by wrapping them in a white piece of kapa, or fabric.
A similar ritual includes a lauhala mat, traditionally made of pandanus leaves from the hala tree. The word hala also refers to the past and the ceremony reflects this by having the couple step onto the lauhala mat together, leaving their separate pasts behind to start a new journey together.
As you plan which traditional Hawaiian elements suit your ceremony, remain clear on which island traditions are appropriate. Speak to an expert rather than assuming, or you may inadvertently incorporate the wrong traditions. Wrapping rocks in ti leaves may be commonplace, but it’s not the symbolic gesture you may assume it to be. A sand ceremony may also be the right choice for your dream beach wedding if you know it’s more of a mainland custom than a Hawaiian tradition. By being mindful of your choices to incorporate traditional Hawaiian elements, you can honor the island as you make your beach wedding memorable and uniquely yours.
Need help picking traditional elements for your dream wedding? Contact us to get your Hawaiian wedding underway.